Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Dicks are not precious.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
