I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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