I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize