Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
