Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
