I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
