in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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