It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
