I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I smell like Dick and happiness
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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