Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
