Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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