i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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