booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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