Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
