She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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