eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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