I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She bit a glass in half.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
