He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
