i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
