yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize