its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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