Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
