I can't breathe out the right side of my face
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
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