the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I believe in your delicious
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
