we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
