Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize