If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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