I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
