yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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