i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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