i already hear my dad disowning me
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I think people are normalizing furries
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
