He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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