Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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