Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
