Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
