So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
