i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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