About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize