I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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