I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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