Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
