lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
