Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
