some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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