dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You made out with two different species that night
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
