did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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