So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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