In the future we'll all be gay
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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