Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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