she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
