whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
