Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
