your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
