Nicole vs. Life
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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