i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
you never un-have a 4some
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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