Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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