She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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