Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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