I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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