Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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