You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
