it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
