I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
