I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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