He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize