you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Houston, we have a blender
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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