I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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