A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
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