so that wasnt chicken after all
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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