I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
