O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
